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When Politics and Pie Collide: The Holiday Dinner Table

Are you dreading the conversations that might happen during the holidays? If so, you are not alone.

It is safe to say American society is divided over many topics, and you might see this divide within your own immediate and extended family. These differences can make spending the holidays together, difficult and tense. There is no “perfect” way to handle difficult or controversial conversations, especially with family members, but here are a few things to remember.

Active Listening

When difficult or heated conversations arise, focus on active listening. So often we immediately begin preparing a rebuttal when someone begins speaking about something we disagree with. This can hinder us from fostering meaningful conversation because it prevents us from listening before we respond. By focusing on truly listening before reacting, we create space for understanding and connection. Active listening can be challenging, as it requires us to offer respect and validation, even in the face of disagreement. However, it is this very skill that helps foster deeper, more constructive conversations.

Compassionate Boundaries

It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries when conversations become heated or uncomfortable. You have the right to protect both your emotional well-being and your relationships. Setting boundaries calmly and compassionately helps maintain respect and creates a safe space for everyone. Consider identifying a few topics that are personally “off-limits” for you, and be prepared with gentle, clear ways to express these limits before the conversation escalates. Practicing this dialogue ahead of time can help you feel more confident and less caught off guard at the dinner table.

Find Shared Values and Common Ground

Despite differences, common ground can often be found. While political views, social issues, and sensitive topics might divide, there are always universal ideals—such as kindness, justice, or family—that can bring people together. Focusing on these shared ideals can create a sense of unity and resilience, helping people connect on a deeper level beyond their differences.

These points emphasize emotional intelligence, communication skills, and empathy as powerful tools for navigating potentially difficult holiday conversations. By focusing on what everyone brings to the table, both literally and figuratively, we can turn challenging interactions into opportunities for deeper understanding and connection. 

Holding Both: Joy and Grief

Are you dreading the holidays this year because you don’t know how to celebrate while missing someone you love? 

You’re in the right place. 

Holding two opposing emotions at the same time seems, wrong. Experiencing joy and grief together is, at first, uncomfortable. But over time you will realize that it is possible and may even be necessary. 

There is no “how to” for celebrating the holidays while grieving someone or something you love. But continue reading for a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this new journey. 

 

Validate your feelings.

At moments you will feel sad, joyful, angry, frustrated, happy, and content. It is so important to validate these feelings when you notice them and try not to ignore them or hide them. It could be helpful to identify someone close to you to share these feelings with as they show up. They can help validate your feelings too!

Do what feels right.

The first holiday season without a loved one can feel overwhelming. You might be thinking “what traditions am I supposed to continue?” or “how can I do [fill in the blank] without them?” Remember that it is okay to change things. And, how you celebrate the holidays this year does not have to be the same as next year or the year before. Do what feels right for you now, in this current season. You are more than able to make changes next year. 

 

Say “no” and leave early when needed.

You know what you need. Therefore, say “no” or leave early if you need to. Having an exit plan might help you feel more comfortable going to a holiday party or dinner at someone’s house. Maybe you drive yourself this year or create a “ready to leave” signal with the person you ride with. This ensures that you can socialize when and for how long you want to, without putting yourself in an uneasy position. 

Ride the wave.

Emotions will come and emotions will go, so ride the wave. You will experience ups and downs throughout the holiday season. In the moment, it can feel like time is standing still and this sadness will never leave. So, be sure to remind yourself that this season and these emotions will not last forever. Identify some coping skills that will help you ride out the difficult emotions as they show up, so you can be just as present for the enjoyable moments. 

Be gentle on yourself this holiday season. Navigating grief during the holidays is hard. If you need additional support throughout the next few months, feel free to reach out to our front office to help connect you with a therapist. 

 

Natural Disasters: A Clinician’s Response

North Carolina is currently responding to the widespread destruction that hurricane Helene left behind in the western part of the state, along with other states in the Southeast. You might know someone who has been affected by this disaster, you might have been personally affected, or you are just wanting to know more about preparing for future disasters.

Susan Peek, LCSW has spent a large amount of her career in mental health providing care to individuals following various natural disasters. She shared some insight into preparing for natural disasters and the importance of emotional support following them. Continue reading for more information.

What defines a disaster?

The etymology of the word “disaster” means “bad stars” or “ill-starred.” The modern definition is any event caused by nature, technology or human that causes loss of life or serious injury, damage to property, or significant disruption to people’s lives.

Why is emotional support important following a disaster?

We know that providing immediate support to those affected by a disaster can help build resilience and improve individual and community ability to recover more quickly. Providing the basics of safety, medical care, shelter, food and water can help stabilize people so that they can better undertake the emotional aspects of recovery. Psychological First Aid and Disaster Mental Health services help people understand their emotional reactions to what they have experienced and helps them to identify what they need to recover.

What I need to help me recover may look very different from what you need, and when we are in shock it is difficult to even identify what we need. Part of what Psychological First Aid and Disaster Mental Health services do is help people stabilize emotionally and name what they need for further recovery.

How can individuals be “best prepared” for disaster?

We know that the better prepared folks are for a disaster, the faster they recover. Preparation can serve us in multiple aspects. Being prepared and having a plan can help alleviate some anxiety. Knowing what to do or that you have supplies at the ready can help redirect the focus from anxiety to a plan of action. Preparation and planning also decreases delay in reaction times, decreases the chance of potential injury or loss of life, and helps people focus in the moment instead of being paralyzed in fear. It’s important to think about emotional well-being and safety as well as our physical needs and safety. Thinking about what helps you keep calm and putting some items in a “go bag” can be helpful. Items like playing cards, games, fidgets, stuffed animals, music, pictures, etc.. can be helpful to have on hand to release nervous energy or make long periods of waiting more bearable. We often talk about building “social capital” or making connections with neighbors and others in our communities so that when disaster strikes, we know that we can call on others should we need help, or we can go help someone else. These are all things that contribute to building resiliency and the ability to bounce back after a disaster.

How do disasters intersect with mental health?

Most everyone has experienced a disaster of some sort whether it be a house fire, hurricane, or a vicarious witnessing of others’ experiences. Emotions run strong during disasters and recovery, and it is important to be aware of how they affect our thoughts and actions. Looking for the physical cues that we are experiencing strong emotions can be helpful in addressing them. We often point to “the extremes” such as not sleeping or sleeping too much, not eating or eating too much, being hyper vigilant or dissociating and completely shutting down. Feeling unsafe often tends to be at the root of most reactions so identifying and providing what one needs to feel safe can be effective. Experiencing a disaster is not something that people “just get over”. There are short-term emotional responses such as shock, fear, and anger but the long-term emotional responses like grief, depression, and anxiety can sometimes be more challenging to address. It is important to be aware of both the short and long-term emotional effects of experiencing a disaster and how they may play a part in the recovery process. 

Resources for disasters:

Disaster Preparedness Checklists:

The American Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies.html

FEMA: https://www.fema.gov/press-release/20210318/how-build-kit-emergencies 

Coping Tips and Psychological First Aid:

SAMHSA: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline/coping-tips

Children and Disasters:

National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/disasters 

Heading Back to School: Thoughts with Dr. Hawkins

It seems that August is the “back to school” month. Some dread it and some look forward to it, kids and parents alike. Transitioning from summer to school brings a number of changes and challenges. However, there are a number of things you can incorporate to ease this transition! You might be thinking, “how can we prepare for school now, we’re trying to enjoy the last weeks of summer?”

Continue reading for some thoughts from Dr. Hawkins on creating a smooth transition back into the classroom, for you and your kids.

As children and young adults head back to school this fall, it is crucial for parents, caregivers, and other stakeholders to recognize that the return to the classroom can be challenging for some. To help students flourish academically, it is essential to establish structured yet flexible routines, adopt a growth mindset, and create environments where they can express themselves authentically at home, school, and within the community.

Structured and Flexible Routines– Begin establishing daily and nightly routines as soon as possible. Consistency and clear expectations help children and young adults thrive. Involve them in creating schedules that include morning and evening routines, mealtimes, relaxation, and reflective periods.

Growth and Flexible Mindset– Perfection is unattainable, so be prepared for delays and exercise patience. Encourage children and young adults to face challenges directly and to problem-solve, taking responsibility for their actions. Emphasize their strengths and use them to address weaknesses, helping them to grow and manage their emotions.

Finding Voice– Provide opportunities for children and young adults to discover and exercise their voice. While you cannot give them their voice, you can create spaces for them to speak up, remain curious, and be their authentic selves.

Share your favorite strategies for managing anxiety about the first day of school?

Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations (e.g., “I am…,” “I can…,” “I will…,” “I am learning to…,” “I love…”)

Visual Sensory Activities (e.g., envisioning picking out a favorite outfit for the first day of school, the car or bus ride to school, reconnecting with friends)

Mindfulness Exercises (e.g., belly breathing, grounding exercises, meditation)

Physical Activities (e.g., organized sports, walking, running)

Being Present, Rest, and Reflection

How can parents help prepare their kids for the change in their daily routine/schedule?

Embrace a Flexible Mindset– Flexible thinking is as crucial as planning for academic success. Model how to adapt to changes without losing emotional control. Focus on what you can control and involve your children and young adults as partners in problem-solving. Encourage creativity and the use of imagination.

Affirm and Validate– Affirm by asserting, committing, and advocating in a firm and civil way (e.g., “I stand with you!”). Validate by listening and recognizing their feelings, helping them feel understood and accepted (e.g., “I hear and see you!”).

Encourage the Creation of a Support Team– Collaboration and support from trusted individuals are vital during transitions and changes. Early identification of these people and defining their roles can help leverage their skills and resources for academic success. Determine what roles family members, friends, and teachers should play in their academic journey.

Want to have fun without breaking the bank?

We are quickly approaching the period of summer where you’re likely trying to find things to keep the kids (or yourself) busy. Odds are, you have already done most the things on your list, and you’re realizing how much time you still have left of summer break.

Not only have you likely done most the “activities” on your list, but you also know just how expensive finding more activities might be. Here are a few local resources that you can utilize to find activities without breaking the bank.

Local Garden Tours!

There are multiple different gardens open throughout Greensboro that are free to the public. These could be great places to utilize to get out of the house and get a little sunshine. Maybe you need to burn off some of your little ones’ energy? Look no further. Click below to learn more about each garden and their hours of operation.

Greensboro Arboretum

Tanger Family Bicentennial Garden 

Gateway Gardens

Bog Garden at Benjamin Park 

Sports Fans?

Do you have any sports fans in your family? Well, head over to the ACC Hall of Champions if you’re looking to fill a few hours and learn all about the ACC.  It is located in the Greensboro Coliseum Complex’s Special Events Center. You’ll find life-size mascots for ACC schools along with memorabilia to celebrate coaches, players and fans!

ACC Hall of Champions

Greensboro Library Events

The public Greensboro Library hosts all kinds of free events throughout the summer. These range from story time (indoor and outdoor), game nights and trivia, to workshops. Grab a friend, family, or both and head on over! Click the link below for their calendar of events.

Calendar of Events

Art Museum

Greensboro has a few places to go to view some amazing artwork. Both the Weatherspoon Art Museum and the Ambleside Gallery host paintings and sculptures. Also, the Green Hill Center for North Carolina Art showcases art created by North Carolina Artists only. If you or your loved ones love art, check these places out.

Green Hill Center 

Weatherspoon Art Museum (sadly under construction until August 14th)

Ambleside Gallery

While there are so many more things to do in Greensboro, we hope this gives you a good start! Many of these activities are free and remain open all year. If you don’t get to them this summer, no worries!

Introducing Some New Faces!

If you’ve been looking for a psychological evaluation, you know how difficult it is to find an appointment without a tremendous waitlist. We have continued to see a growing demand for psychological evaluations. So, we have gladly added two new clinicians to our testing team to provide greater access to these services. We are thrilled to introduce Kelis Tulloch, MS and Madhuvanti Patwardhan, Psy.D., LPA. Continue reading to learn more about each of them.

Kelis Tulloch, MS 


Madhuvanti Patwardhan, Psy.D., LPA

How long have you been working in the mental health field?

Kelis Tulloch: I have been working in the mental health field for about 3.5 years.

Madhuvanti Patwardhan: Including graduate school practicums since 2014. Without anything from graduate school including Internship 3 years

Why did you choose psychological testing?

KT: I chose psychological testing because I love seeing how people think and problem solve. I also enjoy helping people with understanding more about their brain and curating resources and avenues to better assist with their daily functionality. The tests sometimes provides a gateway into their daily lives and how the world looks from their perspective, and knowing that by using various assessment batteries, along with establishing rapport, allows me a better understanding of how I can help with some difficulties they may be experiencing regularly.

MP: I was fascinated by how numbers we see on a page can magically tell us what disorder the person has. For someone who struggled with finding answers, solving the puzzle for them, whether that be a psychological or neurological disorder (psych/neuropsych testing) and helping them see why they feel /behave/ struggle with things was satisfying. The feedback from them, the looks on their faces and their satisfaction with the solved puzzle was PRICELESS to say the least and very gratifying.

What population of clients do you serve? Why that group?

KT: I serve all populations from 18 months to geriatric. I chose such a broad population because I believe the work I do is important enough to help everyone, not just a particular group.

MP: I have historically worked with the 16 -90+ age group and more recently also the 12-16 age group. With the former it has been mostly neurological problems (my JAM). Most of my training has been with that population with neuropsychological testing for disorders which include a Dementia, MCI, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, TBI, ADHD and other neurological diagnosis. I generally gravitate toward serving older adults given they are a vulnerable group with limited access to healthcare and services, in need of immediate services and long wait times. With the more recent group in serving that population I feel that early interventions are most helpful for them to minimize problems, reduce risk and to facilitate the services they need to become successful adults and be able to live fruitful and happy lives.

Where did you move from?

KT: I recently moved from Orlando, FL.

MP: Illinois

What are you most sad to leave behind?

KT: I have always enjoyed traveling, seeing new places, and creating new experiences for myself so I don’t think of this transition as me leaving anything behind per se and I’m certainly not sad about it, haha. If anything, I am very excited about this move and invite all new opportunities and growth.

MP: NOTHING, my family moved with me and that to me sums up my little happy world. Home is where the heart is.

What are you looking forward to the most about working at CPA?

KT: I am mostly looking forward to gaining as much experience as I can within my field and honing my skillset to better my craft amongst innovative, experienced, and passionate professionals.

MP: Continuing to serve our community in the best possible way I can. CPA is a wonderful practice where I have in a short time felt welcomed, supported, and encouraged to serve the community. I look forward to forming strong collegial relationships with everyone at CPA and continuing to grow professionally.

What is something that you enjoy doing for fun?

KT: I enjoy trying new things (i.e., food, places, activities) and traveling.

MP: Hanging out with my family (dogs, ducks and chickens included), fishing, bowling, hiking , travelling and cooking (very therapeutic and enjoyable).

Share a fun fact about yourself!

KT: I studied as an actress and graduated from a conservatory in 2022.

MP: I have been told I cook a MEAN steak even though I don’t eat BEEF ever. LOL!!! And I can give the wing makers/restaurants a run for their money ‘cause I make the most culturally blended spicy chicken wings….. (In short why are you a psychologist when you can have a successful restaurant?)

Supporting Others: What To Do When Someone You Love Is Struggling

Can you think of a loved one who has been struggling recently?

Some seasons of life are harder than others and knowing how to support our loved ones during those hard seasons is important. The best place to start is just asking your loved one how you can support them during their difficult season. If that feels too uncomfortable, here are a few places to start.

Active listening

One of the best ways to show support is by active listening. This means that you are listening without interruption and without judgement. So often we listen in order to respond or give advice, but active listening allows individuals to share their feelings and experiences completely with validation from you, the listener. When practicing active listening reflect back what they are saying and use open ended questions. This can help them feel heard and give them space to continue sharing their feelings.

Pitch in Practically

When someone is struggling, even simple life tasks can feel daunting and overwhelming. This is where you can step in! Offering to grab a few groceries, bring them dinner, or offering an hour or two of childcare can go a long way. If you’re over at their house, pitch in by doing the dishes or folding some laundry. While these tasks feel small and insignificant, they can make a huge difference for someone in a difficult season.

Be consistent

The best type of support is consistent support. This could be consistent check ins or setting up regularly occurring outings. Maybe you “schedule” a specific time each week or month to catch up. You could bring coffee, meet for a walk, or meet at the park for the kids to play. Whatever you decide, just commit to being consistent. Being reliable for someone during a hard season will go a long way. If they know they can rely on you, they are much more likely to reach out for help when they need it.

Understanding Anxiety: What Is It and How To Cope

Odds are, you’ve heard someone talk about anxiety before. Or maybe you’ve been the one talking about it. According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) 31.1% of US adults experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. Continue reading for a very brief overview of anxiety. The more we know about mental health disorders the more we can raise awareness for them and recognize them in ourselves and others around us.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, worry, or fear brought on by a perceived threat or stressor. This response is natural and can range from severe fear to mild unease. While everyone will experience anxiety from time to time, chronic or severe anxiety can interfere with your daily life, indicating the possibility of an anxiety disorder. There are multiple different disorders related to anxiety including, but not limited to: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Specific Phobia, and Agoraphobia.

Common Symptoms:

Symptoms of anxiety can manifest differently for individuals, meaning you might experience anxiety differently than others in your life. Some common symptoms of anxiety can include physical symptoms, emotional symptoms and behavioral symptoms.

Physical Symptoms: Some physical symptoms might include an increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, tense muscles, and gastrointestinal issues.

Emotional Symptoms: Some emotional symptoms might include excessive worry, increased irritability, and restlessness.

Behavioral Symptoms: Some behavioral symptoms might include avoidance of stressful situations, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty sleeping.

This is not an extensive list for all symptoms and symptoms may vary for specific anxiety diagnoses.

Building Coping Skills

It is important to have some coping skills that you can quickly use when feeling anxious.  Relaxation is a key part of addressing anxiety and the symptoms that come along with it. If we recognize anxiety as a fear response, we can manually help our bodies and minds relax by using various coping skills. While there are a very wide range of strategies to use, we will focus on a few below.

Deep breathing: Utilizing a breathing exercise is one of the most effective ways to combat feelings of anxiety. Quick, shallow beathing is a part of your body’s stress response. By intentionally taking slow, deep breaths you can decrease your heart rate and quiet down your sympathetic nervous system (the system responsible for your natural stress response) ultimately leading to decreased feelings of worry and nervousness.

Grounding Techniques: When anxious, you are often thinking about something from the past or the future. Grounding techniques are designed to bring your mind back to the present moment and reconnect your brain and body. A very common grounding technique is “5-4-3-2-1.” This exercise encourages you to name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. When doing this exercise, you are intentionally shifting your mind to focus on the things around you instead of the anxious thoughts.

Movement: Moving your body is also a great strategy to help manage anxiety. This could look like yoga, walking, hiking, or stretching. Movement increases endorphins in your body and can also take your mind off of those anxious thoughts. This movement does not have to take a large amount of time but could be 5 minutes of stretching in your office or 10 minutes of yoga before heading to bed. The goal is to find the movement that works best for you.

Have a better understanding of anxiety? While this is only a brief description of anxiety, symptoms, and coping skills, we hope you learned something new. The more we know about anxiety the better we are at recognizing it and addressing it.

Meeting a Growing Need in Our Community!

The growing need for quality clinicians is apparent, and we are working hard to meet that need within our community. With that being said, we are excited to announce Sophie Burns, LSCWA as a new clinician in the Greensboro Office! She started in March and has not missed a beat since her first day. Continue reading to learn more about our newest team member! 

Why did you choose Social Work?

I chose Social Work because I have a passion to help others.  Ever since I was little, making others smile brought me joy.  I turned my passion into purpose by choosing Social Work so I can work with others to improve their quality of life in any way that looks like!  

What population of clients do you serve? Why that group?

I serve all populations of clients! Treating different age ranges provides such a different style of therapy that I love to have the opportunity to experience.  With each different population, there are different “favorites” with serving them!

Did you relocate?

I recently moved from Cary, North Carolina! 

What are you sad to leave behind?

 I am sad to leave behind my family.  I was born and raised in Cary, which is where my entire family still lives.  Luckily, it is only a short drive to go see them so I can still have plenty of family time!

Why did you choose CPA?

I chose CPA because of their core values in serving the clients we get to work with.  CPA has a collaborative approach among the staff members which allows one another to be supportive with the common goal in mind, to best serve of our clients.

Share what you enjoy doing for fun!

For fun, I enjoy spending time outside with my dog!  We love to go somewhere pretty and wooded to walk… bonus points if it has water!

Do you have a fun fact?

I have a twin sister and I recently got engaged to a twin! 😀

Stress Less, Laugh More: A Brief “How To” For Stress Management

What is your definition of “stress?”

According to the Webster dictionary, stress is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.”

While we may experience stress differently, from different stressors, one thing is the same: stress is an inevitable part of life.

But don’t worry, there are plenty of skills and strategies you can utilize to help manage your stress throughout life. Below are a few strategies you can try out over this month, because April is Stress Awareness Month!

Label things IN your control and OUT of your control

How in the world is labeling going to help with my stress? Well, that is a great question! You see, most of the time we stress about things we have absolutely no control over….can you think of an example?

The weather. Someone else’s feelings.  How much homework a teacher will assign. What question your boss might ask in that upcoming meeting.

These are all examples of stressors that are completely out of your control, unfortunately. Therefore, labeling what is in your control and out of your control is a great first step. If you can recognize something is out of your control, like the weather while on a trip, then you can refocus your attention on things you can control, like packing a raincoat or planning indoor activities. This does not eliminate the stressor, but helps you manage it.

List your priorities

Making a list, really? I know, just hear me out.

I’m sure you have a very, very long list of things tugging at your limited time. How do you decide what to get done and what can wait? Fine tuning this process can help manage the never-ending to-do list and stress that comes with it.

Write out your top 3 to 5 priorities for the day, the week, or the month (whatever timeline works best for you). This is your “needs to get done today, non-negotiable” list. Then you have a “running list” (think of this as a word bank) of all the other tasks you need to do at some point, but maybe they aren’t quite as time sensitive as the top 3-5. Work through your top priority list first, and if you have time leftover you can always add more from your “running list.” This can help you create some order to the many tasks vying for your precious time.

Maintain boundaries

Work-life balance is essential for healthy stress management. This might be a “trendy phrase,” however many people have no idea how to put it into practice. Healthy boundaries with work can look like taking a full lunch break (technology free), setting a strict cutoff time for work emails, creating clear “out of office” auto-replies to protect your personal time, and taking scheduled, short breaks throughout your workday to step away. Remember, the work will always be there when you come back from lunch, a break, or vacation.

Now this is certainly not a comprehensive list, but is a good place to start. Maybe even bring some of these up with your therapist at your next appointment or share with a friend. We’d love to know stress management strategies that work best for you!